It's gonna happen. The book I've been toiling over for more than six years
is about to be blasted out into the whacky wide world. Okay, maybe it won't
blast out...probably trickle out. But the point is, it's coming out, and I
can't stop it. It has been a long, crazy, roller coaster ride--a ride which
I have attempted many times to jump from.
I admit I feel extremely nervous about this--pacing back and forth, racing
heart, trigger temper to my sweet undeserving husband--as well as crazy
emotions swirling around hitting anyone and everyone who is around me.
My life is going to be out there for all man kind to make fun of and
criticize, and I'm not too crazy about that. Well, probably not all man
kind, but at least those who know me. I find myself in a precarious
situation. Doing what I think God has called me to do, and scared to death I
won't be strong enough to endure people’s opinions and judgments. Maybe I'm
dealing with an itsy bitsy lack of faith, ya think? Fear of God, fear of
man...hmmm.
It's been so painful the last eight months that I feel I have been dieing a
longggggg, slooooooow, death. Death to dreams, death of what I can control,
death of how I thought my life would look like, and the funny thing is I am
still standing--sometimes not very tall, but I'm standing.
If you have gone through similar circumstances I would love to hear from
you! I need hope and encouragement that everything is going to be ok...that
I'm going to live through the birth of this puppy, um I mean book...and get
on with my life.
Have a blessed Thanksgiving! I am thankful for you!
lauraheinsohn@yahoo.com |
